


Safe

by katswriting



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, PTSD, Panic Attacks, but here is some aunt may appreciation, peter is not okay the war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 12:03:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14520132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katswriting/pseuds/katswriting
Summary: THIS IS POST INFINITY WAR SO THERE ARE SOME SPOILERSDO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ITPeter isn't coping well after the war but Aunt May will always be there for her boy





	Safe

Peter was lounging on the couch, trying to pay attention to an old re-run that was playing on TV. Glancing down at the clock, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, letting himself sink deeper into the couch. The glow of the TV illuminated his face as he refocused his thoughts on the show. It was nearly three am and he knew that he should be sound asleep, but sleep had almost become like a stranger to him. Every time he went to bed, he hoped that it would be different, hoped that he wouldn’t be plagued with thoughts of a war on a faraway planet.

He shuddered at the sudden thought of Titan, grabbing the blanket on the edge of the couch and wrapping it tightly around himself. He knew he wasn’t cold, but the feeling of something physical surrounding him helped ground him. He squeezed his hands into fists, balling the blanket between his fingers, reminding himself that he was safe at home and not fading away.

He heard Aunt May’s room open and winced, he hadn’t meant to wake her up, making sure to turn the volume down as low as he could. However, May had always had this intuition about Peter; he shouldn’t have been surprised that she would come check up on him. Looking up, he saw her reach the couch, a soft smile on her face. May knew that she should be upset that he was still awake this late, but she couldn’t. He looked so small, wrapped up in his blanket, the glow of the tv casting shadows on his face accentuating his dark circles. She felt so helpless, knowing that nothing she could do could ever help erase the pain of what he had been through, but the lack of sleep and the nightmares had her worried.

She had thought things were getting better when the screaming at night had stopped, but when Peter’s tired look became one of exhaustion she knew that it wasn’t the case. It was when she found him one night, awake on the couch, that she had realized that the screaming hadn’t stopped because he no longer had nightmares, it had stopped because he was too scared to try and sleep.

May moved to the front of the couch and tapped Peter’s leg gently. He shifted slightly down the couch and she took a seat, taking another blanket and laying it on her legs. Peter shifted back once she was settled and rested his head on her shoulder.

“You alright there Pete?” she asked as she ran her fingers through his curls a couple times, something that had always manage to calm him down since he was a child. Peter shrugged, not knowing how to answer.

She sighed and ruffled his hair one last time before turning back to the TV, “so what are we watching?’ she asked as turned up the volume of the TV slightly so she could hear better.

Peter felt a load come off his shoulders and he sat there with May, he always felt safer in her presence. She had protected him all his life and though he might not call her mom, he knew that she was the closest thing he would ever have to one.

———————

Peter blinked slowly, wincing as the sunlight hit his sensitive eyes. Feeling more rested than he had in a while, he sat up and stretched, his neck stiff from having spent the night on the couch. He glanced over at May who was still sleeping peacefully and then at the TV, which was still on; they must have fallen asleep while watching the re-run.

The channel they were on was broadcasting the news and he decided to leave it, listening to the news around the world as he got up and headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Turning the tap on and reaching for a glass he focused on the news, something about an attack in Queens. He hadn’t been out as spiderman since coming back from Titan and the guilt was eating him up inside. People, innocent people were getting hurt, and it was his fault because he wasn’t out there doing his job.

_People are getting hurt because I am too scared to do my damn job. So much for being a hero._

Gripping the countertop tightly, he shook the thoughts out of his head and focused on filling his glass with water, letting the cold water run over his hand and using the sensation as a distraction

Deciding that he had wasted enough water, he turned back towards the living room and froze. Images of the Avengers and Thanos’ spaceship were on the screen, the words ‘damage control: how much will this cost us?” flashing at the bottom, but Peter couldn’t hear what the reporter was saying. The sound around him was muffled as if he was underwater and he felt his chest constrict as he struggled to get a deep breath in.

_Relax. You’re home. You’re safe. You’re safe. You’re safe._

Peter kept repeating those words over and over hoping that if he thought it often enough it would be enough to calm him, but it wasn’t. His grip went slack, sending the glass of water smashing to the floor. Peter stumbled backward, hitting the counter and slid down, burying his head between knees.

He could feel his heart racing and as much as he tried to take a deep breath, the air just wasn’t going in. Squeezing his eyes shut, he whimpered as flashes of Titan and disintegrating bodies flashed across his mind.

May woke with a start as she heard the sound of the glass shatter on the floor. Sitting up abruptly, her gaze first landed on the tv where she saw the news coverage of the attack, she quickly grabbed the remote and turned the tv off. She turned towards the kitchen where the glass had fallen and her heart broke at the sight. Peter was sitting on the floor, crying. His hands gripped the legs of his pyjama pants tightly; fingers turning white from the hold.

Rushing to his side, she knelt down beside him, hands hovering above his shaking form, unsure of where to start.

“Peter?” she asked, as she gently put a hand on his shoulder. The moment she touched his shoulder, Peter’s body crashed into hers; his arms grabbing her in a desperate hold.

“I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna go. Please.” Peter whimpered out as she felt his body tremble against hers. She shut her eyes, trying to hold back the tears herself.

Bringing a hand to his hair, she gently started running her fingers through them.

“Shhhh, Peter you’re alright. You’re home with me. You’re safe.”

She reached over and grabbed his hand that was gripping her sweater.

“Squeeze my hand, Peter. You aren’t going anywhere, you’re still here,” She winced as his hand squeezed hers painfully, but made no comment about it. She kept talking to him, reassuring him of where he was, letting him focus on her voice and on her hand until he was calm again.

He pulled away slightly and wiped his tears with his sleeves. “I’m sorry if I scared you,” he mumbled, looking up at her with tearful eyes.

May brought him into a hug, feeling Peter’s tears on her shoulder as they both sat there on the kitchen floor. She rubbed circles on his back until his crying has stopped and only sniffling remained.

“Thank you,” Peter said as he played with the sleeves of his sweater, looking at the ground.

“I’ll always be there for you, no matter what ok?” May responded ruffling up his curls.

Peter looked up at May and smiled. Spiderman might be New York’s superhero, but May would always be Peter’s hero.


End file.
